Our Christmas Without You
by XxTruLuvIs4everXX
Summary: Hermione talks about Christmas without Ron. PG, just in case. One shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

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I don't know what it is that makes me think of you. Maybe all of the red reminds me of your hair. Perhaps it's because we kissed for the first time under the mistletoe on Christmas Eve. I don't know. But I do know that this is the first Christmas I've had in a long time that I didn't spend with you. 

The fire is burning, warming the house and adding a soft glow to the living room. Outside the snow fall as the carolers sing about Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I remember the time back in school where you had that horrible red pimple on your nose. People called you Rudolph and Pinocchio and offensive names like that.

The lights on the tree shine beautifully. No presents lie underneath, for I sent them to your mum's already. She tried to convince me to go over there for Christmas Eve, but I just couldn't go there. So I'm sitting here now with your picture in my hands and the tears falling down my face.

You should be here right now. Sitting next to me and opening presents with Ginny and Harry. Speaking of those two, Harry proposed to Ginny this year. They're getting married in the spring, but Harry doesn't even want a best man. He says there's only one man worthy enough to be his best man, and that it's you.

The family's tried to cheer me up loads of times after your death. Even your mum was better than I was. Fred and George played a hundred jokes on Percy in order to make me laugh, which I did a few times. Percy's lightened up a bit since you died. I really appreciate their efforts but, bloody hell, I wish they'd stop.

Everybody seems to be happy this Christmas. The world's rejoicing and I'm here alone and miserable, wishing I would just die. 'Tis the season to be jolly. But I can't be jolly when you're not here.

This hurts so much, Ron. This was supposed to be the first Christmas of our new life together. Our first Christmas being married. You should be here with me right now. We hadn't even been married a year and you had to go away and die. Why did you have to go? You were my love, my life. You were what kept me strong during hard times. You were my everything.

When Harry came to me without you, I knew that something was wrong. He told me you didn't make it, and at first I didn't want to believe him. I waited for you to jump out and say, "Boo!" and then I'd get mad at you for playing such a rotten trick on me. But then I'd give you pull you into my arms and give you the biggest kiss in the world. And we'd live happily ever after. But it didn't come. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt Harry pull me into a hug and I felt the life I've always wanted crumbling to pieces.

Your funeral, Ron, was one of the worst days of my life. Your family was in tears, even Fred and George. Your mum was terrible. But none could have possibly been worse than I was. You know me. I get really emotional. Harry was a mess. He looked as if he hadn't slept in years and his hair was uncombed with a million tear stains on his face. He might've been worse than I was. After all, he had watched you die. If only I was there, Ron. I could've saved you and you wouldn't be dead. Instead, you'd be here. Crying your eyes out like I am now.

I miss you, Ron. I miss you so much. I wonder if I'll survive New Year's (the day you proposed), February 18 (out wedding anniversary), and all of the other special occasions we've had.

I can't eat. I can't sleep. When I do make myself fall asleep I'd have wonderful dreams. I'd dream that you were right here next to me, and you'd hold me in your arms and never let me go. But then I'd wake up knowing it was just a dream. Nothing more. So I've stopped sleeping, just to save myself the pain and agony that I get from waking up again without you.

Your picture is still in my hands. I smile as I lightly trace my fingers across your face I set your picture on the mantle over the fire place and prepare to apparate to your parent's house. I know it will be hard without you, but I figure that you wouldn't want me sitting at home all by myself on Christmas Eve. So I go. Good bye, Ron. I love you, you know. I'll love you forever, and I'll see you beyond the veil.

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**This was my first fic like this, so I'm sorry if it's not that good. I also was in a rather happy mood when I wrote this, so it might be worse than it would be. Well, thanks for reading and please review!**


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